“The Pain was necessary to know the Truth, but we don’t have to keep the pain alive to keep the Truth alive.” Mark Nepo
The journey of self-discovery is no doubt one of the most rewarding, but it can also be extremely painful. The process of looking at the past in order to heal and move forward into a brighter future is at times, debilitating. While no one can walk this journey for us, we do not have to do it alone. I truly believe that Divine guidance is ever available and we are led to people and places that can make this process bearable and in the end, as rewarding as it should be. As a therapist, I walk beside people and help support them as they get to the other side of the pain and anguish that bogs them down and stifles them. As it has been said, this process can truly be like peeling away the layers of an onion.
The process of unfolding and unveiling our authentic selves requires vulnerability. Vulnerability is a type of Spiritual strength that can only be achieved through a true self-inventory. The purpose is not to beat ourselves up or tear us down, but rather to remove the curtains that have bred shame and guilt. Those curtains dim the light within us.
Our past choices and experiences can cause us to feel shame and guilt. I have always understood guilt to be defined as the feeling we get when we have done something that we perceive to be wrong, or hurtful. Shame is the feeling that we ourselves ARE bad. I honestly do not think shame is a helpful feeling to hold onto. Our actions do not define us. Our mistakes do not define us. At our core is our spirit. Our spirit was created with God’s love and light and for that reason (among others), we don’t need to feel shame to grow. When we explore the past experiences that elicited us to develop shame about ourselves, we can work to release them and uncover our true essence which is Love.
On the other hand, I do believe guilt can be helpful because we can use the feeling to propel change. When we know that we have made a mistake or done something that has hurt someone else, we can use the terrible guilt feeling we are having to drive us into making better choices for ourselves and others going forward. We can’t erase the past or change it. We can, however, use our past mistakes to learn, grow, and create a better future. Whether or not someone else can forgive our past mistakes, we need to forgive ourselves. Other people have their own process to experience, so we need to allow them to do that. Instead of being bogged down by guilt feelings when we have made mistakes, we should and can opt to use the feeling as a tool for inspiring change. We can choose to learn and grow and turn negative energy into something positive for ourselves, which in turn can help others as well. We can not undo what has already been done, we can only learn, grow, and look ahead.
As we walk along this journey called life, we can use our experiences, especially our mistakes to foster change. It takes incredible spiritual strength to look within ourselves and truly be honest about the mistakes we have made or changes that are necessary for us to make in order for our life to be more fulfilled. With God’s Love and Light, these moments can become our turning points for a better life.