“Anger expressed in a healthy and positive way means that we channel emotional anger towards resolution not attack.” Byron R. Pulsifer
When most people think of anger, they think of it as a negative emotion. I think it is because often, people often make bad choices when angry. It can be destructive and scary, particularly when people yell or become violent because they are angry. When we have had bad experiences either because of our own anger or at the hands of someone else’s anger, we develop an image of anger as negative and something to avoid. Anger is not often talked about in the context of being a positive emotion. It is more commonly viewed as an emotion to avoid or quickly move away from. Feeling angry utilizes a lot of emotional energy, however, I do not believe it is always bad for us.
Looking at anger through another lens, I believe that God gave us anger as a natural emotion because it is an integral part of the spectrum of things we feel. Anger is an emotion that sometimes masks other feelings such as hurt or fear. But when utilized in a positive way, it gives us strength and sometimes power to do things we would not usually feel strong enough to do or say. Often, when someone has crossed our boundaries, the first thing we feel is anger. It can be an emotion that alerts us that something is wrong or someone has wronged us. Powerful positive emotions can arise from anger, just as destructive ones can.
I am not saying we should live in anger or be angry people. I am saying that anger can be a healthy emotion as part of the healing process, or as a signal that something is wrong in an interaction with someone else. Getting angry can be a part of taking your power back in a situation that hurt you or made you feel helpless. When wounded, many people feel fine sitting in their sadness, but in order to move forward, the next natural emotion to move into is anger. We demonstrate self-worth when we use our anger to step into our power. I think that when we use positive modes of anger expression such as a letter in our journal to the person who wronged us or a physical expression that doesn’t impact anyone else (like screaming into a pillow), we feel our inner strength and can move on in the healing process.
It is always amazing to me to watch someone in therapy heal through the process of taking their power back by getting angry. It often fosters the change needed in order to set boundaries in a way they never have before or make changes they didn’t think they could. I truly believe that when we can channel anger in this healthy way, it is an expression of our self-worth and dignity. Being someone else’s doormat is not of God. Just like we get mad when someone hurts those we love, we should allow ourselves to feel angry when someone has wronged us. It helps foster change.
Anger is an emotion that should be kept in context. Destructive anger that hurts people is never good. But anger is needed as an important part of taking our power either as a signal that someone has wronged us or while healing to propel us forward. Remember, God doesn’t make mistakes, we have all our emotions for a reason. I highly encourage using your anger to find your inner strength, and may you always be Guided by the Light…